Praying for News......

We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be. C.S. Lewis

Oh how I wish that I had some news of any kind to share with you. It has been since April 15th that we have had no updates. For a while we were told paperwork was waiting for a judge, then it was in a regional office, now....nothing. Two of the families we traveled with, and were initially approved with, are in Ethiopia bringing home their children. Another group of families has received word that the birth certificates are in and travel will be soon. While we are happy for them, my heartaches throughout the day for Isaiah-wishing we were in the plane as well.

Our last social worker tried to brace us for outcomes that were not in our plans. They have ranged from travel in 4-6 months from now to the conversation we know in our heads may become more of a possibility...the fact that we may come to the end of the road without Isaiah.

As heartbreaking as this is, I continue to hold faith that God has such a powerful presence and hand in all of this....and I only know of a sliver of his purpose and plans for our family. I take some comfort in the fact that even if it was for a moment I was his mother and I held him as that, unsure of if that was the first, or last time I can say such a thing.

If this journey has taught us anything it is the strength of relationships of our friends and family. This past weekend we were able to share our story with the church in a PowerPoint. Afterwards our church family said a prayer for our journey, for our son, and for change in our adoption process with the Ethiopian Government.

Later in the day we had well over 60-70 people attend our Simply Love..in Action Silent Auction. The event not only financially has supported our journey, but emotionally as well. Seeing that many friends and family come forward to support us was unexpected and appreciated far beyond any words I could say.

In this journey of unknowns and unexpectedness I have learned the meaning of "grief markers" or dates/events that trigger sadness. One of those markers is quickly approaching.

Isaiah will turn 5 next Friday. While I know the likelihood of any news before then is slim, we are preparing to celebrate his birthday. This is so hard as well because receiving the referral last July I was "certain" that he would have been home by Christmas, then for sure by Easter, and finally I thought his birthday. Kenny and I will get the cake and a present that will stay wrapped until he comes home with us. Knowing how far away he is, and how little control I have in this process is a struggle.

But knowing God has great plans for all of us provides us some comfort through this time.