A New Outlook on the Same Story

Kenny and Mom 4th of July, 2011 Clear Lake IA

Well this weekly update might look a little different. For the past year I have focused most of this blog on the ups (and for the last 5 months) downs of our adoption process. In 10 days we will experience another "grief marker" that is the date we received the referral on our little guy. Over the past week I have had struggles with the "why us" a lot more than normal-that might be due to the exciting news of the other 2 families that had been on this long journey to pass court finally passing last week, it could be due to yet another holiday I had though for sure Isaiah would have been here for (for those of you not familiar with Ethiopian Adoption time lines-from referral date we should have had him home around Christmas last year) and most recently a family wedding in Iowa in which we had "guaranteed" in our hearts he would have been here for and what a homecoming that would have been (never mind hot!).

Over the weekend I started to read Beth Moore's "Get Out of That Pit"-a book I have purchased for a few close friends when they have had struggles...but admittedly one I hadn't read.

I learned-I am most certainly in a pit-and for lack of a better word--stuck in it! Not only stuck, lately I feel like I have laid down in it, rolled around and thrown a good old 2 year old temper tantrum. I have allowed myself to become obsessed with the next marker, date on the calendar, or for my poor family-my reaction from the next call from the social worker and what that might bring.

Over the many pages I have noted and highlight for comfort-this one has really hit my heart:

"if God allowed you to be thrown into a pit, you weren't picked on; you were picked out. He entrusted that suffering to you because He has faith in you. Live up to it. All the way up"

Up until about 2 months ago I thought I was a fairly resilient person-one who could get back up from most anything-but reflecting this weekend on how this adoption process has gone gave me some time to reflect on the good that has come out of such unexpected wait-for example:

1. The journal: when Isaiah is finally granted to our family he will have over a year of journaling I have done in his book-I have written it weekly since January of 2010, journaling activities, events and prayers we have had for him--one year before he even met us. I hope and pray as he gets older he will understand the fight that family and friends engaged in for him, long before he knew we existed.

2. The culture: During this wait time we have been able to learn more about not only Ethiopian culture-but struggles and stories of African families in Austin-families who have "adopted" us into their lives and stories and willingness to care and share with Isaiah when he arrives.

Kenny taking pictures for us at the

South Sudan Freedom Celebration in Rochester MN

3. Isaiah's safety: During this time, and transitions not expected in this process, we hold close to our hearts that he is safe, well cared for, and loved by many. For example by staying in the orphanage he is safe from what some are calling the worst drought in 60 years. He also has made "friends" with some strong advocates in Ethiopia. Last week a lawyer became involved in his case-this week another representative from the agency in Ethiopia will travel to advocate and next week a rep from Saint Paul will be heading to the orphanage and has promised to report back how he is doing.

4. Kenny's spiritual growth: Rob and I have struggled how to keep kenny informed with all the unforeseen changes in our adoption plan for his brother-I keep imagining to a 6 year old this must be like waiting for the best Christmas Present ever, day after day after day.....

Lately Kenny has been talking about him more than ever-for example:

"mom I really miss my brother-I hope the government finishes that stuff soon"

but more often I can sit and listen forever to his prayers for his brother-prayers he is safe and that he comes home soon.

So a very long post-not so much new information-but things I am finally figuring out (however you still might see me slip a little bit and do a little kicking and screaming...but I am working on that patient thing-I promise).

Jess