A New Outlook on the Same Story

Kenny and Mom 4th of July, 2011 Clear Lake IA

Well this weekly update might look a little different. For the past year I have focused most of this blog on the ups (and for the last 5 months) downs of our adoption process. In 10 days we will experience another "grief marker" that is the date we received the referral on our little guy. Over the past week I have had struggles with the "why us" a lot more than normal-that might be due to the exciting news of the other 2 families that had been on this long journey to pass court finally passing last week, it could be due to yet another holiday I had though for sure Isaiah would have been here for (for those of you not familiar with Ethiopian Adoption time lines-from referral date we should have had him home around Christmas last year) and most recently a family wedding in Iowa in which we had "guaranteed" in our hearts he would have been here for and what a homecoming that would have been (never mind hot!).

Over the weekend I started to read Beth Moore's "Get Out of That Pit"-a book I have purchased for a few close friends when they have had struggles...but admittedly one I hadn't read.

I learned-I am most certainly in a pit-and for lack of a better word--stuck in it! Not only stuck, lately I feel like I have laid down in it, rolled around and thrown a good old 2 year old temper tantrum. I have allowed myself to become obsessed with the next marker, date on the calendar, or for my poor family-my reaction from the next call from the social worker and what that might bring.

Over the many pages I have noted and highlight for comfort-this one has really hit my heart:

"if God allowed you to be thrown into a pit, you weren't picked on; you were picked out. He entrusted that suffering to you because He has faith in you. Live up to it. All the way up"

Up until about 2 months ago I thought I was a fairly resilient person-one who could get back up from most anything-but reflecting this weekend on how this adoption process has gone gave me some time to reflect on the good that has come out of such unexpected wait-for example:

1. The journal: when Isaiah is finally granted to our family he will have over a year of journaling I have done in his book-I have written it weekly since January of 2010, journaling activities, events and prayers we have had for him--one year before he even met us. I hope and pray as he gets older he will understand the fight that family and friends engaged in for him, long before he knew we existed.

2. The culture: During this wait time we have been able to learn more about not only Ethiopian culture-but struggles and stories of African families in Austin-families who have "adopted" us into their lives and stories and willingness to care and share with Isaiah when he arrives.

Kenny taking pictures for us at the

South Sudan Freedom Celebration in Rochester MN

3. Isaiah's safety: During this time, and transitions not expected in this process, we hold close to our hearts that he is safe, well cared for, and loved by many. For example by staying in the orphanage he is safe from what some are calling the worst drought in 60 years. He also has made "friends" with some strong advocates in Ethiopia. Last week a lawyer became involved in his case-this week another representative from the agency in Ethiopia will travel to advocate and next week a rep from Saint Paul will be heading to the orphanage and has promised to report back how he is doing.

4. Kenny's spiritual growth: Rob and I have struggled how to keep kenny informed with all the unforeseen changes in our adoption plan for his brother-I keep imagining to a 6 year old this must be like waiting for the best Christmas Present ever, day after day after day.....

Lately Kenny has been talking about him more than ever-for example:

"mom I really miss my brother-I hope the government finishes that stuff soon"

but more often I can sit and listen forever to his prayers for his brother-prayers he is safe and that he comes home soon.

So a very long post-not so much new information-but things I am finally figuring out (however you still might see me slip a little bit and do a little kicking and screaming...but I am working on that patient thing-I promise).

Jess

Still Waiting on Word

We have now hit the 14 week mark since our first trip and court appointment in Ethiopia. By the statistics for most families-this is about the longest time between trip one and two. Two of the families we traveled with have their children home, a few others leave next week, and some are still waiting on word from the Embassy. Their amazing support and encouragement has kept us strong and given us faith in our own process.

We continue to hope and pray that the judge in Ethiopia will soon have the necessary paperwork to allow us to pass court and move towards an Embassy appointment. I have resolved the fact that our journey will not be like any others (yep...it takes me that long to remember I don't get to "plan" things). Our summer travels to return to Africa are now looking more like late fall/winter-however we have been given hope that the delays are not necessarily leading towards the adoption not going through-just taking a little longer.

No matter how long the wait I am so looking forward to the moment that we can call him our "son" and bring him home--whenever that time occurs!

1 Peter 5:10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you.

A Letter to My Son

To my little one so far away,

I am not sure you remember me, but I am part of a family working so very hard to adopt you into our forever family. We met almost 3 months ago--you were holding the green crayon out of the box of crayons we brought from Minnesota for you and your friends at the care center. You might remember your dad as the really tall "bald" guy you kept peeling stickers off of during our play time. You sat on my lap for over 30 minutes, I can still remember how tiny you seemed to me compared to your "big" brother back here in the US. I also remember putting my cheek next to yours when we took the family picture necessary for us to bring you home someday.


My dear son, something is holding us back from bringing you home-I am not sure what, or when it will be finished-but I am so very sad that we are an ocean away from you on your birthday this week. I also know next week will be difficult as we are approaching the one year mark from when your birth mother, and the women you lived with for 4 years left you at the care center. During our trip when we were in Ethiopia we had a wonderful visit with your birth mother. She is a very strong women who wants so much for you, so do we.

This weekend we went and ordered your birthday cake and spent a great deal of time looking for the "perfect" birthday present for you. Kenny and I "adopted" a giraffe at the Como Zoo in your name. We have your gift ready for you to open and your birthday card sealed waiting for your arrival.

Kenny's birthday wish is that you get a chance to see this present yet before your next birthday.


I am not sure how you will be spending your special day in Ethiopia, your family here in Minnesota will probably sing and take pictures of the cake and family standing around-with one empty chair-that we hope is filled by you.


I am still journaling most weeks-we started last January and I have one journal almost full. We hope someday you read that journal and understand how long, and how many people prayed and waited for you-long before you even could understand who we are or what was happening.



My Birthday Wish for you.....is that this is the last birthday we will be apart.



Love your mom

Simply Love....in Action Silent Auction

While we Wait...

A Silent Auction and Fundraiser to benifit our Adoption

Sunday, May 22nd

3:00-5:00 pm

Downtown Coffee House

329 North Main
Austin MN 55912

Items for auction to include: beautiful artwork, hand crafted items, giftbaskets, season theater tickets and more.

T-shirts and Tote Bags will be available for sale as well as great food from local chef's and of course--great coffee!

A new way to look at this turn of events

No new news yet-waiting on a final report from the police in his birth reason before the judge can make a final decision-However when my mom shared this with me yesterday it helped me put some sense into these recent changes in our adoption journey.

A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong in her life. She's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away. Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake." Well then, here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers. "Yuck !" says her daughter. "How about a couple of raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!" "Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Mom, those are all yucky!" To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves, but when they are all put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake! God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through some bad and difficult times, but God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful! --Author Unknown ....and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

No New News, No New News.

So the wait continues, and continues.... Called the social worker Monday and listened while trying to hid the tears (unsuccessfully) when she explained what she couldn't-why we were not moving forward with a court date. My tracking skills have not be helping as I have been following the number of families referred and moved forward to a court date before ours. The wait list continues to grow for dates, and Monday we found out it will be at least into February before Trip 1-meaning late spring/summer for Trip 2-meaning a really long winter for our family...on both sides of the world.

After a therapy session via phone with our social work (who is wonderful-and must think this women from Austin is a little odd), she called back. Still no dates, but she received word from the head of the Ethiopian program that our paperwork is "processing" but nothing more than that. If anyone has a few extra prayers around this holiday season-we could sure use them.

Being Thankful

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". Jeremiah 29:11

On this Thanksgiving morning I read this verse as part of a Monvee email-and the timing couldn't have been better--the title of the email: Lets be thankful-God has a better plan.

We continue to wait for a court date--I now have become "that" person from the cell phone commercials--you know the one who even has her cell phone and checks it during yoga class--yep yoga! Our social worker let us know the Ethiopian Government had a glitch with our paperwork and the Power of Attorney name-this has been cleared up, and as of a week ago-she was optimistic we would be getting a call in the next 2 weeks......well week 2, nothing yet-but God has a better plan.

It is easier to look at the things we don't have yet, then to be thankful for the things HE has given us:

• A referral for Isaiah-many families are still in wait for the call-ours came so soon into the process.
• Finances-we are so grateful for the donations, the extra income, and fundraisers that have helped us to almost have the adoption costs paid in full-up to this point.
• Family Support-we have such amazing family members that have prayed for us and accepted Minalachew as part of the family-even when he is miles away.
• Friends and Church Family-the support we have received from friends and church has been more than we could have ever expected! People will approach us to ask how we are and what they can do to help, the support has been amazing.
• Children's Home Society and Family Services-from the classes, to our Social Worker-this agency has helped us prepare for our upcoming journey. And who else has a Social Worker who emails you at 10 in the evening, or calls from her personal cell phone number-just to make sure we are still hanging in there in this time of wait.

As I hope each of you are enjoying a time of Thanksgiving today-I wish you each some time to reflect on the greatness of what He has given to us, and time to spend with friends and family rejoicing in this!